When working as part of a team, it is helpful to understand why strong feelings might arise and to think through together how to respond should that occur. Difficult moments can take many forms, including periods of silence.
Silences
Silences often seem longer than they really are. This is because we so rarely experience them. They can be very productive. Sit with silence and value it, especially if the group is discussing a weighty issue. Don’t feel obliged to fill silences with questions or jokes.
If silences suggest stagnation or stalemate, take a new approach. Consider:
Breaking the task into smaller parts
Splitting into pairs for 15–20 minutes to work on different angles; share these as a full group
Charting or drawing the issues visually as a group
Brainstorming ideas – might one work?
While periods of silence can sometimes feel uncomfortable, they are often easier to manage than situations where people feel strongly about an issue. As discussions deepen, differing opinions can create tension that groups need to handle constructively.
A strong attack on somebody’s views can be distressing. People often identify themselves with their own opinions: if you reject the opinion, the person might feel rejected. The group may need a ground rule that it is OK to challenge opinions but not to belittle those who hold them.
If emotion arises from the group not working effectively, then talk through how to improve the way the group operates. For example, if some people say their views are ignored, check:
What would make them feel heard?
Is what they want realistic?
Does that affect anyone else?
Can a compromise be found?
What will the group do differently?
People arrive at a group meeting with emotions that have been set in train by outside events and everyday life. These can be sparked into a sudden, apparently inexplicable, outburst by what happens in the group itself. This can be disrupting and painful. Consider:
At the start of each meeting, everyone reporting in briefly on what is going on for them
Deciding together how the group will manage unacceptable expressions of emotion, such as, ‘If one person is aggressive towards another, the rest of the group will intervene’
If people are distressed for whatever reason, let them have a few minutes’ quiet or some space to express their emotions. Show kindness. Ask what they need
“Doing group evaluation was a bit of a shock to me as I think of myself as a people person. I am very chatty so it was quite hard to hear that the group felt I should, basically, talk less and listen to others. I thought I was listening, but the group said I didn’t actually take on board what people were saying and act on it. I can’t say it was easy to hear this but it was something I needed to know; it was one of the most useful parts of the course.”
“Studying can be quite a solitary activity – you are on your own with your thoughts or books or your essay a lot of the time, so it was actually a really nice change working in a group.”
“Our online support group is brilliant. We all have a lot going on in our lives so we just keep each other going. I was going to leave the course at one point and everyone just got me to think about ways of staying.”
Supporting one another emotionally helps create a positive group environment. It is equally important to pay attention to how people participate, as the structure of a discussion can influence whether everyone feels able to contribute.
Imbalances in group interaction
Group discussions can easily become unbalanced if:
One or two people dominate
Two people are locked into an exchange
There are no spaces in which quieter people can get into the discussion
The chairperson or group members can address these imbalances directly by:
Thanking dominant members and indicating it would also be good to hear others’ views
Asking anyone who hasn’t spoken whether they wish to speak
Pointing out any imbalances so that the group can discuss ways to deal with them
Some contributions – such as updating the group at the start of a session about your day or week – are important but can drift on too long. Set time limits.
Managing challenges during group work
Write down a difficult moment you have experienced during a group discussion. What happened, how did people react, and what helped (or could have helped) the group move forward? Identify one strategy you could use in future group discussions.
